We actually call the Sacrament of Reconciliation a celebration. We get to rejoin ourselves with Christ and His love and Grace every time our sins are washed away. So what comes to mind when you think of confession? A dark, scary, wooden confessional with a condemning priest on the other side of a screen that slams closed on the person confessing? That is what we see in the movies. This could not be further from the truth. What do we actually see when we walk into confession? Two chairs and a smiling priest who is so glad that you chose to come and be reunited with Christ today. Most of the time we do not go behind a screen in fact I never have before. If I did, then I would miss out on the beautiful look of love and compassion in the priests eyes as I share my most difficult stumbles in life. We still have that option available for people who prefer to remain anonymous but I constantly urge people to go face to face. I have seen confession take place in an empty room, near a river and even in a teepee once at a teen retreat. :) It can take place anywhere as long as the priest is open and willing to hear your confession.
So why confess? We all know that Jesus is loving and forgiving. There is no sin that He will not forgive, if we come to Him with an honest heart and ask for forgiveness. But how often do you forgive yourself? Is there something from your past that resurfaces periodically and leaves a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach? We have a much more difficult time forgiving ourselves then Christ does. He WANTS to forgive us. He wants that pain and guilt to vanish forever. I know before going to reconciliation for the first time I would ask for forgiveness to God in prayer over and over for the same sin, but I could never forgive myself.
During the Sacrament of Reconciliation Christ washes away all of our sin and pain. This leaves our heart open to receive the Grace and Love of God. Sin is very binding and clouds our relationship with God. It is nearly impossible to hear His soft voice and follow Him when wrapped in sin. For this reason nearly every retreat I have ever been to begins with reconciliation. Afterwards we are wide open to recieve God's grace for the rest of the retreat.
This is one of my favorite parts of each retreat. I love to share my views on reconciliation with teens, adults and children. The teens are always so scared their first time. Many of them have not gone to reconciliation since they were in second grade. They walk in apprehensive and nervous. They come out so full of life that they are practically floating with joy and grace. It is obvious the trasnformation that takes place in the confessional. At our Confirmation retreat last weekend I witnessed a 15 year-old boy walk out of the confessional and yell "That was amazing! God MUST be real!" After that first real experience many teens become reconciliatoin advocates. They actually begin to look forward to confession. When the time comes they run to the front of the line to be first. It just makes my day!
We need to teach our teens and young children about this celebration! We need to show them that it is not scary or condemning in anyway. It is quite the opposite!! I had so much fun teaching second grade this year because I had three little sweet Catholic girls in my class. They had their first reconciliation and Eucharist this year. I was able to share my faith with them in the corner of the playground. It was our own little top secret bible study. :) They were all so scared by the thought of confession. I explained to them how wonderful it is. Then they could not wait for it to be their first reconciliation day! They all came back so happy and wanted to go again.
St. Faustina was a Catholic Nun who was visited by Christ over a three year period. Her mission was to share with the world God's unending Mercy and Love. Her diary chronicles these visits, and oh my, is it spiritual! In one of her visits Christ speaks to her about reconciliation. These are His words:
"When you go to confession, know this, that I myself am waiting for you in the confessional; I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of Mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great there is no limit to my generosity"
I love the idea of Christ waiting for us, but we just can't see Him. I picture Him with a beautiful smile on His face and full of love and kindness as we reunite ourselves to Him.
So what is our goal as parents? Go to confession often the more you go the better you will feel! Matthew Kelly in his book "Rediscover Catholicisim" relates confession to a car wash analogy. Think about when you first have your car washed and detailed. It smells so pretty and everything is clean. Your car may have looked like a homelss person was living out of it last week but not anymore! Now it is perfect and clean. So then your son leaves his shoes in the back. You say "nope we are keeping this car clean take them in the house". Next your daughter leaves a doll in the car and you instruct her too to keep your beautiful car clean. You are not letting this car look like a homeless person lived here again! After that you accidentally leave a Target bag in the back, then a Sonic cup, then your kids each leave an item or two. By next week you have forgotten that you were trying to keep the car clean at all. Before long it is full of strange items again.
The same is true with reconciliation when we first walk out of the confessional we are squeaky clean and ready to take on the world! I am not letting sin get in my life, no sir! Then I might say something I don't mean, have a negative thought here or there. Then before you know it sin has crept back into our lives. That is why we must go often especially if you are struggling with something. If I have a problem the first thing I do is take it to God in reconciliation. That is the way to tackle those big problems.
We also need to be open about confession with our kids. That doesn't mean you have to tell them WHAT you confessed just let them know that you go often because you choose to. Let them see how it effects your faith. Encourage them with love to go often as well. Please don't force them, that will only create resentment.
This is my view of reconciliation coming from a previous Protestant prospective. I hope it helps you to reconcile with God soon and often! Happy Confessing!!!
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