Eli's Name

So I wanted to tell you my name story for the little guy. It is a pretty cool story and I think he will love hearing it one day. Three years ago when I was pregnant with Livi  I was driving in my car and I heard this loud God voice say "You will have a son and his name will be Eli" then it repeated again. I was like whoa I never heard a loud God voice before. :) I was determined that we were having a boy named Eli, except that at the time I really didn't want a boy I would have much rather had a girl.  But I was certain because God had told me that it would be a boy. I didn't even think I needed to have an ultrasound to find out. I remember standing at Ella's 1st birthday talking to my friend Melissa and she said "what if it means that you will have a boy SOMEDAY and his name will be Eli?" I hadn't thought about that possibility yet but I thought maybe Melissa was right. Sure enough two days later I found out that I was having a girl.  

The following Sunday I went to church and I was a bit confused about my faith and listening to God. The bible reading at church was a story I had never heard before about Samuel the prophet and Eli. Eli was a high priest, I had no idea Eli was in the bible. I just thought there was Elijah.  So anyways Eli is sleeping and Samuel wakes up and says "Lord did you call me?" Eli says "no go back to sleep I didn't call you" and it happens again and again finally "Eli says next time you hear your name say yes God I am listening because He is calling you". I took this to mean "thank you for being willing to follow me and for listening but I am not calling you yet". So I figured we may have a boy some day.

Fast forward to now being pregnant I had kind of pushed the Eli story out of my head and was picking different boy names. First we picked Luke and Chad's good friend Todd is having a baby named Luke. Then we picked Gabriel, which I LOVED, but found out shortly after that Chad's boss and Confirmation Sponsor is having a baby named Gabriel.  That Sunday I came home and suddenly out of the blue Livi, my two year old,  starts acting out the story of Samuel, Eli and God. It was random! She told me "I'll be Samuel, you be Eli and you be God". I didn't even know she knew that story. I had this overwhelming feeling that God was telling me that he didn't want me to pick Luke or Gabriel but that my child would be Eli. The same night I also got a message from a friend saying that she thought of me today at mass because of the scripture reading. So I went online and looked up what she read and sure enough it was the Eli and Samuel story. I was like whooaa again! I just loved how God used the same child that I thought would be Eli to share with me His plan.

I know it might sound crazy to think that God picked my son's name, but I have a very discerning heart and it feels so good to know that I am following Him and letting Him make choices for me. Anyways I just thought it was pretty cool and thought you guys might want to hear the whole story. 

So his name will be Eli James Copeland. James is after my grandfather who died when I was a baby and Chad's dad's brother who died as a child of heart failure.

Teaching Kids to Pray

One  of the most valuable lessons we can teach our kids is how to pray. I believe it is an area we all need extra help with and kind of fall short on teaching. Don't get me wrong we do great job of teaching the "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" prayers and "pray for Grandma prayers" or Grace before meals, but I mean real connecting with God prayers. One of my main goals as a mom is to teach my kids how to discern God's will in their life. Now if you asked me five years ago to discern something I would have had NO idea what you were talking about. To discern is to prayerfully make decisions based on God's will for your life. Discernment is not easy, in fact it can be very difficult.  Teaching my children to follow God in this way  is a challenge I am ready to take on.  In our culture kids are taught that they can be anything they want to be, go anywhere they want to go, do whatever they want to do, etc.... But I disagree. We can do anything that God wants us to do. If it is in His divine plan for us then we are unstoppable and our job is to follow Him closely enough to understand His plan. As parents we need to teach our children to be the person that God has designed them to be by knowing Him personally and following Him.

I am an extremely discerning person. I believe that God is everywhere in my life and wants to be  part of every decision I make, from the large decisions like "where to work" or "how many kids to have" to the small choices like "what should I wear today?" or "What should we do today?" Now I know that may sound silly, but I truly believe He cares about each of us that much. I also believe that nothing happens out of chance it is all part of God directing our lives. He doesn't typically give us big signs but little nudges here and there. For instance, my God moment from yesterday.....  I really need a nursing cover for the new baby. I wanted to get a good one but I am crazy cheap and could not bring myself to pay $30 for one. I looked several different times at stores and online and just kept chickening out. I felt this icky feeling in the pit of my stomach saying that I shouldn't buy it. The very next day I got an email from a friend with a free coupon for a high quality nursing cover. Coincidence? I don't think so! I think I followed God's will in that little insignificant matter. Yes He cares about the little insignificant things.

So back to teaching our kids. Ella my four year old asks me often "How do I know if God is talking to me?" or "Does God talk to me too?" The answer is yes He absolutely talks to her because some of the things she says are entireley to spiritually profound for a four year old to create on her own.  There are three main ways that God speaks to us and it is typically not a big loud booming voice like on TV.

1. God speaks through scripture- You may read the same bible verse for the 10th time but it will have a diferent meaning for you in that exact moment. This is God using His own words to direct your life. Scripture is our own personal love letter from God! Read it!

2. God speaks through our friends- In any type of serious decision of discernemnt you should always consult a spiritual director or spiritual friend. For some reason we can hear God better when the message is intended for someone else. :) Friends can be a great way to validate a feeling of discernment. It is also helpful to have others pray with you. Does this mean that all advice you get from friends is directly from God? Absolutely not! Consult people you trust and who have a strong faith. Even priests, religious and the Pope have spiritual directors that they discern with.

3. God also speaks through that still small voice in our hearts. It may be an idea that pops into your head or a little whisper in your soul. I think we were trained to believe that we are just that brilliant and all of these ideas are our own. I believe those come from God. Another silly example: I lost a maternity shirt that I only wore once. I needed this shirt because before too long it won't fit anymore. I looked everywhere for it. Then one day I really wanted to wear it and suddenly I saw in my mind's eye that it was at the bottom of a laundry hamper that was full of clothes to be given to Goodwill.  I believe God directed me there. I couldn't have suddenly figured that out on my own. I am not that smart. :)

These are hard concepts for adults to learn and will be difficult for kids too.  I think the way that we can teach these most effectively is by modeling them. Each time we feel God has given us a sign or helped with a a decision just say it out loud so your kids can hear. With the shirt example I might just say "Wow thanks God for showing me where my shirt was". Then Ella might ask "How did he show you?" That gives me a chance to share a bit with her about how I communicate with God. Also point it out if you notice God speaking through your children. If your child says something very profound or loving you can say something like "Wow that was so thoughtful. I think God gave you that idea" or "Wow you must have been listening to God when you said that". It will open up the doors to discuss what it means to listen to Him. In order to effectively discern the large decisions we must first be in tune with God on the small decisions. The more practice that we have the easier it will be to discern His will from our own.

Also, when your child is in the moment and needs discernment, stop with them and pray. Teach them by modeling in your own prayer to ask for God's help. If they are trying to make a decision, lost something special, having an argument with a friend or family member, etc. show them that they can lean on God for support.  Being a teacher in a public school I was never able to share this beautiful gift with my students and it drove me crazy. Can you imagine the climate of a classroom or family if we prayed during our arguments and problems instead of fighting back?

The other important part of discernment is knowing your feelings and how things affect them. When a message or feeling is from God you will feel a sense of peace and calm in your heart. If a message is not from God or is not right in this situation you will feel uneasy, angry, sad, possibly even a bit nauseous.

I am by no means a spiritual director so, if you want more information on Discernment check out St. Ignatius of Loyola. He pretty much wrote the book on the subject. I did a bible study with him a few years ago and it was great. The title of the book that we used was "What's Your Decision?" It is an easy read and explains discernment in a way that anyone can understand. If you are interested  you can buy it here. There are many other St. Ignatius discernment books well that you can choose from.

Happy Discerning!!!