Teaching Kids to Pray

One  of the most valuable lessons we can teach our kids is how to pray. I believe it is an area we all need extra help with and kind of fall short on teaching. Don't get me wrong we do great job of teaching the "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep" prayers and "pray for Grandma prayers" or Grace before meals, but I mean real connecting with God prayers. One of my main goals as a mom is to teach my kids how to discern God's will in their life. Now if you asked me five years ago to discern something I would have had NO idea what you were talking about. To discern is to prayerfully make decisions based on God's will for your life. Discernment is not easy, in fact it can be very difficult.  Teaching my children to follow God in this way  is a challenge I am ready to take on.  In our culture kids are taught that they can be anything they want to be, go anywhere they want to go, do whatever they want to do, etc.... But I disagree. We can do anything that God wants us to do. If it is in His divine plan for us then we are unstoppable and our job is to follow Him closely enough to understand His plan. As parents we need to teach our children to be the person that God has designed them to be by knowing Him personally and following Him.

I am an extremely discerning person. I believe that God is everywhere in my life and wants to be  part of every decision I make, from the large decisions like "where to work" or "how many kids to have" to the small choices like "what should I wear today?" or "What should we do today?" Now I know that may sound silly, but I truly believe He cares about each of us that much. I also believe that nothing happens out of chance it is all part of God directing our lives. He doesn't typically give us big signs but little nudges here and there. For instance, my God moment from yesterday.....  I really need a nursing cover for the new baby. I wanted to get a good one but I am crazy cheap and could not bring myself to pay $30 for one. I looked several different times at stores and online and just kept chickening out. I felt this icky feeling in the pit of my stomach saying that I shouldn't buy it. The very next day I got an email from a friend with a free coupon for a high quality nursing cover. Coincidence? I don't think so! I think I followed God's will in that little insignificant matter. Yes He cares about the little insignificant things.

So back to teaching our kids. Ella my four year old asks me often "How do I know if God is talking to me?" or "Does God talk to me too?" The answer is yes He absolutely talks to her because some of the things she says are entireley to spiritually profound for a four year old to create on her own.  There are three main ways that God speaks to us and it is typically not a big loud booming voice like on TV.

1. God speaks through scripture- You may read the same bible verse for the 10th time but it will have a diferent meaning for you in that exact moment. This is God using His own words to direct your life. Scripture is our own personal love letter from God! Read it!

2. God speaks through our friends- In any type of serious decision of discernemnt you should always consult a spiritual director or spiritual friend. For some reason we can hear God better when the message is intended for someone else. :) Friends can be a great way to validate a feeling of discernment. It is also helpful to have others pray with you. Does this mean that all advice you get from friends is directly from God? Absolutely not! Consult people you trust and who have a strong faith. Even priests, religious and the Pope have spiritual directors that they discern with.

3. God also speaks through that still small voice in our hearts. It may be an idea that pops into your head or a little whisper in your soul. I think we were trained to believe that we are just that brilliant and all of these ideas are our own. I believe those come from God. Another silly example: I lost a maternity shirt that I only wore once. I needed this shirt because before too long it won't fit anymore. I looked everywhere for it. Then one day I really wanted to wear it and suddenly I saw in my mind's eye that it was at the bottom of a laundry hamper that was full of clothes to be given to Goodwill.  I believe God directed me there. I couldn't have suddenly figured that out on my own. I am not that smart. :)

These are hard concepts for adults to learn and will be difficult for kids too.  I think the way that we can teach these most effectively is by modeling them. Each time we feel God has given us a sign or helped with a a decision just say it out loud so your kids can hear. With the shirt example I might just say "Wow thanks God for showing me where my shirt was". Then Ella might ask "How did he show you?" That gives me a chance to share a bit with her about how I communicate with God. Also point it out if you notice God speaking through your children. If your child says something very profound or loving you can say something like "Wow that was so thoughtful. I think God gave you that idea" or "Wow you must have been listening to God when you said that". It will open up the doors to discuss what it means to listen to Him. In order to effectively discern the large decisions we must first be in tune with God on the small decisions. The more practice that we have the easier it will be to discern His will from our own.

Also, when your child is in the moment and needs discernment, stop with them and pray. Teach them by modeling in your own prayer to ask for God's help. If they are trying to make a decision, lost something special, having an argument with a friend or family member, etc. show them that they can lean on God for support.  Being a teacher in a public school I was never able to share this beautiful gift with my students and it drove me crazy. Can you imagine the climate of a classroom or family if we prayed during our arguments and problems instead of fighting back?

The other important part of discernment is knowing your feelings and how things affect them. When a message or feeling is from God you will feel a sense of peace and calm in your heart. If a message is not from God or is not right in this situation you will feel uneasy, angry, sad, possibly even a bit nauseous.

I am by no means a spiritual director so, if you want more information on Discernment check out St. Ignatius of Loyola. He pretty much wrote the book on the subject. I did a bible study with him a few years ago and it was great. The title of the book that we used was "What's Your Decision?" It is an easy read and explains discernment in a way that anyone can understand. If you are interested  you can buy it here. There are many other St. Ignatius discernment books well that you can choose from.

Happy Discerning!!!