I was not really raised with a strong faith. My family attended the Methodist church but I did not really know God or my faith. In high school my family fell apart and I did my best to keep my head above water. I made a lot of bad choices but survived. In college I guess I was your typical college student but did not know how to truly live life to it's fullest. I made a lot more mistakes along the way, but met my sweet Chad there. Chad was Catholic so we went to Catholic church together. I never in a million years thought I would become Catholic. We had been married a few years and I was very focused on clothing, partying, and trying to still live the college life style. Then my sweet friend Brooke started going to a church and fell in love with God. I noticed such a sharp change in her. She seemed so happy and I wanted what she had. I had no idea how to find faith like that and I was almost certain that the Catholic church was NOT where I would find it. I told Chad that I wanted to go to church more and tried to veer off into a bible church. This scared him a lot. I went to church with Brooke the opening weekend of her then fiance's new church Life in Deep Ellum. The holy spirit was so alive in that place it blew me away. I watched Brooke and Tanner who weren't even married yet praying over another young couple who needed their prayers. I had never prayed out loud in my life, much less prayed over someone before. It lit a fire in me that day. I knew I was going to find my faith one way or another even if that meant leaving the church and going by myself. I started asking Chad all sorts of questions about that hte Catholic church, most of them were pointed and painful. He didn't know the answers to my questions because he did not know much about his faith either. He started to learn more and realized just how beautiful the traditions and sacraments of the church are.
As a last ditch effort Chad signed up for a men's retreat at St. Thomas More called CRHP Christ Renews His Parish. He asked me to attend as well during the women's retreat. I really did not want to go but thought I would try it for Chad. The weekend that Chad was gone I was bitter and angry that he was gone all weekend. When he walked in the door I saw a change in him that I have never seen before. He could not tell me what happened during that weekend but it was clear that he was a new man. I went to CRHP two weeks later. It was the best thing that ever happend to me! I put it right up there with having my children and marrying Chad. If it weren't for this retreat where would I be now? It showed me the beauty and love of the God through the Catholic Church and jump started my faith journey. I left that weekend deteremined to have a relationship with God. I had NO IDEA how to do that. I would listen to the Jars of Clay song "Love Song for a Savior" and the verse that repeats "I want to fall in love with You". It became my mantra. I wanted to fall in love with Jesus but didn't know how. I realized that I didn't NEED to know how I just needed to be open to Him. He did all the rest. My life changed so quickly! I had a new born baby and was suddenly part of a Christian community for the first time in my life. We basically LIVED at the church for a while. I started the RCIA program and became Catholic that year at the Easter Vigil. My faith continued to explode and grow in ways that I would have never thought possible. I am still constantly amazed by how beautiful this church is and how much God loves me. Why me? What did I do to deserve His love? The answer is nothing! There is nothing I could do to earn His love. He is just as happy to love me as I am to love Him. Sometimes I feel like the ultimate prodigal son with God smiling ear to ear. I am so thankful for the last five years of my life!
So from here on out I am different! I am not who I was.
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