Forgiveness

As a teacher I was always trying to teach my students ethical and moral practices that they may not receive anywhere else. It was so amazing to me to see six and seven year olds treat each other with more love, kindness and empathy than most adults I know. It all stemmed from the Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards system that we used. I blogged about the parenting version of this if you want to read more about it click HERE. There were many values that I taught  my kids empathy, patience, understanding, optimism, flexibility, etc. A value that I think all kids (and adults too) should learn is forgiveness.

I started thinking about this blog after listening to Tenth Avenue North's song "Losing". The lyrics explain a hurtful situation and needing God's help in forgiveness. Click on the right to listen to the song. 

Yeah we don't like to talk about forgiveness. Forgiving others who have wronged us is hhhaarrrrddd.  Let's face it most of us have been hurt pretty seriously at some point in our lives.  If you have ever heard my whole conversion story then you know I had to do a lot of forgiving myself. We are taught in this culture that if you are a forgiving person then you are a push over. We have to defend ourselves and stand up for what we believe in or people will walk all over us. So we end up being a culture of people who cannot trust one another. We need to teach children that people make mistakes and before we get angry to put ourselves in their shoes. Many kids do not know how to look at someone else's perspective on a matter. They believe that the wrong doing was intentional and hurtful, when in fact it was usually accidental. As adults we do the same thing, especially to those we love the most.

Granted there are times when people are intentionally hurtful and mean. What do we do in this situation? We are still called to forgive.  When asked how many times to forgive someone  Jesus said seven times seventy-seven times wholy moly that is 539 times!!! Can you imagine forgiving someone that many times and remaining friends with them? Jesus did! He has forgiven us as many times in our own lives and he keeps hanging around every time we make another mistake. He doesn't just pack up and walk away each time we screw up. Now I don't think it is a good idea to put up with that kind of abuse from someone, but it does show how important forgiveness is to Jesus.

In the Lord's Prayer or "Our Father" we say "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us" What does that mean? It means God forgive me just as I forgive others. Sooooo what happens if we don't forgive others? Yikes!! Does this mean that God gives up on us and won't forgive us? No. It means that it makes it hard for us to accept the Grace and forgiveness from God. When we are holding onto pain and anger we can't fully accept God's Grace.  We cause ourselves added pain and anguish. So what is the best way to start forgiving someone who has wronged you? It is not something you can do on your own. The only way to truly forgive someone is through the Grace of God. So go to confession. Yep I am back on the confession bandwagon. :) For me reconciliation is always the answer for any problem in our lives. Give it to God through confession and  you will be freed from that pain and anguish.This doesn't mean you have to agree with what they did or go through that again. It just means that you have to let go of the anger and pain. Another way to change your heart is to pray for the person who has hurt you. This is a great skill to teach kids. If someone is bothering you pray for them. It helps us to see them as people who make mistakes and need God's Grace just like we do.


We were not taught these kind of things as kids so many of us have dealt with pain for a long time. That is why it is our job to teach our kids how to forgive before someone hurts them.  If you practice with the little things then it makes the larger things easier to handle.  In a classroom or family situation most things that happen are little and insignificant. We need to teach kids to forgive others and also to ask for forgiveness when they have wronged others. Asking for forgiveness is equally as difficult as giving others forgiveness.