A little Christmas Visitor

So, I think I may be the ONLY mom in America that has not given her kids an Elf on the Shelf. After teaching Discipline Without Stress and watching kids shine while taking ownership of their own behavior, I just can't bring myself to tell my kids that they need to be good for presents. I am not judging if you if you chose to half an Elf in your house, it is just not for me. :) The idea is that the Elf will report each night to Santa on the kids behavior that day. I would much rather see my kids make the right choices because it is the right thing to do, not out of fear of disappointing Santa.

 I do however, LOVE the idea of the kids waking up each day to see their little Elfy friend. I am terrified of  the day that Ella or Olivia come home from school and ask why Santa's Elf does not visit our house. I never thought I would feel mommy guilt related to a little Elf doll, but here we have it. :) I can't deprive my kids, right?

Have no fear.... I have an idea! This one is great! Instead of a little Elf that tells Santa each night, I want my kids to focus on the meaning of Christmas and Advent. Sooooo my kids will be visited by a sweet little Angel. We could call him Gabriel. :) This little Angel will show them the new Bible story and craft that goes along with their Jesse Tree each day. (If you missed the Advent Jesse Tree craft idea click here) It will also do some Random Acts of Kindness and maybe some silly things around the house too. It will give me an opportunity to teach the kids about angels and how they are always with us protecting us. He might even leave little notes about the love of Jesus for all of us!  I am excited to make a lasting joyful memory of Christmas for my little ones.

The angel has now visited us twice. The first day I left a trail from the bedroom down the stairs with ribbon. They found their Jesse Tree lit up with a little Angel beneath it. With the angel was a note explaining who she is why she is here.  They also found their children's bible and craft.  The girls were thrilled! They talked about it all day! They could not wait to look around the house this morning for the angel again.

Today I hid her in a different location with the bible and craft again.  I also included another note today. This note explained that she enjoyed being with them. Yesterday was a tough day in our house. While I was at church volunteering my husband had all three kids. My new little baby struggles when mommy is away because he does not like bottles. I knew it had been stressful for my husband and all of the kids, so I wrote about that in our letter. The angel told them "You were so sweet to Daddy and Eli yesterday when Eli was sad. Thank you for being kind to your family. It makes God happy to see you treat your family with kindness". Now, were my kids kind the WHOLE time? Absolutely not, in fact while the baby was crying they opened the front door and let the dog run down the street. My poor husband had to chase two kids and a dog while carrying a crying baby. But, focusing on what they did well makes them want to do better in the future.  A little empowerment and encouragement can go a long way.
Remember, if you are looking for a change in your child's behavior, especially a long-lasting change, fear or bribery will not do the trick. It may change the behavior temporarily but the behavior will return with a vengeance. Trust me I have tried these tactics with classrooms full of little ones. Instead, give them something positive to focus on like love and kindness. Teach them how to love one another and live out their faith and you will change their hearts forever. I went to visit my 2nd graders from last year and one of the little girls wrote me a letter. In the letter she told me how much she learned about how to treat her family and friends in our class last year. She wrote "Mrs. Copeland you will forever be my example of how to live my life".  I nearly cried right there in the cafeteria!! It all goes back to Have you Filled a Bucket Today. (If you missed that post click here.)
If you are interested in bringing an Advent Angel to your home I have a free download of the first letter from the Angel. here You can also use the template to create personalized letters for your kids based on the positive things that you see them do each day. 
 When you give kids something positive to focus on their behavior will change automatically. PROMISE!!

Parenting Without Stress

Could that really be true? Is it possible to be a stress-less parent? Probably not, but this book does help. It is written by Dr. Marvin Marshall and I used the companion book in my classroom Discipline Without Stress, Punishments, or Rewards. Dr. Marshall's philosophy is to teach children to be independent self-managers who know the difference between right and wrong. Not to simply raise children who perform well for a prize or reward. Isn't this what we all want? Children who make the right choices based on morals and "Doing the Right Thing?" I know that is what I want for my own kiddos. I have to admit that teaching kids to make the right choices by following this system is my absolute favorite subject to teach. I would teach morality all day long if I could. :) Unfortunately, I did not teach at a private school so I was not able to incorporate my faith into any of this teaching but it all coincides so nicely with the Christian faith.

There are three main components to the program: Positivity, Choice/Questioning and the Behavior Levels. All three of these remind children to be responsible for their behavior and reflect on what level they are performing on. The levels are A: Acting out of Control and this is anything that is dangerous or hurtful to others, B:Bullying, bossying, or bothering, C:Cooperation- this is considered a good behavioral level but not the best. On level C children do what they are asked to do by an adult, because someone is watching them or they know they will receive some type of reward. This is the height of most behavioral systems in America. Level D is the highest form or self control and moral thinking. D stands for "Doing the Right Thing". On level D children do what they are supposed to do without being asked by an adult or without anyone watching. They simply make good choices because they know it is the right thing. This may also be going out of their way to do something nice for someone else just to make them happy. We often talk about the internal rewards that they receive by operating on level D "it feels good in my heart". Children shine when they can treat each other with love and respect just because it feels good to help others.

Whew that was a long winded explanation of the program. I could talk for hours about it because I love it so much. I am now teaching this program to my 3 and 4 year old girls. Each night we discuss a different behavior level, read a book to go with it, then draw pictures of what that behavior looks like. Yes I am a total teacher so I hung the pictures on the wall in our playroom, but you don't have to do that. :) You could make a book for them to refer back to or some other fun and creative way to keep these little reminders.

The books that accompany them are Level A: Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by: Kevin Henkes

Level B: A Weekend With Wendell by: Kevin Henkes

A Bad Case of the Stripes by: David Shannon

The Recess Queen by: Alexis O'Neill

 

Level C: The Little Red Hen






Level D: There are oh so many and I read them often to remind them of what level D looks like

"Jamaica's Find"
"Ella the Elegant Elephant"
"Clever Jack Takes the Cake"
Or any other book where the characters show love, kindness and respect to one another. 

Here are some DWS posters that I made. They have the behavior level, examples of that behavior and an icon to remind the child. You can also sit down with your kiddos and have them come up with more behaviors that would fit in each level.  To download them for free visit my Teachers Pay Teachers site here.

 

 

 

 

It is better to give....

Each Christmas I try my hardest to show my kids that there is more to Christmas than just presents. In fact I am not sure they even realize that they get presents until it is time to open them. :) One way to do this is to focus on giving to others this Christmas season.
I love teaching children to give. One of my favorite moments as a teacher is when I see the light switch turn on in a child. It is the moment when they realize it is more fun to give to others than to receive something. Our kids are so flooded with toys and gifts that the happiness that they receive from gifts is temporary and fleeting. When they feel the joy and love that comes from giving for the first time it is a long term sustaining happiness and they can't wait to give again. The kids would tell me "I love helping my friends. It makes me feel good in my heart!" 
I have noticed that everyone seems to be very generous this time of year especially in non-profits that provide toys to children. While I think this is a noble cause I just can't help having the same feelings each year. Here in America we spend millions of dollars on toys and fancy Christmas dinners while there are millions of Christians around the world that celebrate Christmas with nothing, not even clean running water. Couldn't our donations be better spent elsewhere? I have found several great ministries that gift to the most needy in the world and your kids can help as well.

 The first is called Operation Christmas Child. In this program we pack shoe boxes with toiletries, pictures and small toys to send to kids in 3rd world countries. I especially like this because our children can take such an active roll in deciding what to send. They can even chose to send some of their own toys, draw pictures or write the children letters. I did this last year with my 2nd grade class and we sent 13 boxes. It was great! The boxes are due the week before Thanksgiving and you can drop them off at local churches that participate in the program. To look for a church near you visit their website.
Operation Christmas Child


Another ministry that is dear to my heart is the water project in Nigeria. When Chad and I returned to the church and became active for the first time we met Father James. He was fresh from Siminary and ready to make a difference in the world. Father James is from a small town in Nigeria that is so poor  they do not have running water in their homes or anywhere in town. They would wash their clothes and drink the water from the slow moving creek. It was dirty and unsanitary. Father James started a program to raise money for his town. He has gone back three years in a row and built water systems to be used by all of the town's people. Here is a video from his visit two years ago. It is so beautiful to see the joy in the eyes of the people. They truly are thankful for everything that God has given them.

If you are interested in helping Father James with his ministry you can visit his church website.
stmarys-parish.com/

Another program that I just love is called "Sinks for Moms" it is put on by an organization called Kid to Kid. The founders of this organization were members of my church before they became full time missionaries. Each Christmas they come back and ask for support to provide sinks to families would not otherwise have running water in South American countries.


Kids to Kids

I also love Samaritan's Purse. It is a great place to "Shop" for loved ones. The catalog is not your average Christmas catalog. Instead of being filled with toys and clothing galore, the catalog has necessities like goats, grain, pigs, etc. You can "buy" a loved on a pig in their honor for Christmas. I love the idea of giving each other "gifts" that will help others.
www.samaritanspurse.org/

It does not really matter which of these great organizations you choose to help. The important thing is that you include your children in the decision and the fund raising. Invite them to give of their own money or to raise funds somehow. Kids love to put on little fundraisers like lemonade stands or bake sales. I had several kids in my class last year that had birthday parties and instead of receiving gifts themselves asked if they could donate all of their gifts. You could also host a Christmas party and ask for donations to be given to a charity. There are so many ways to involve children in giving and they love to be part of it. Encourage your children this Christmas to give to others and watch the joy that it creates in their hearts.

Only 59 More Shopping Days Until Christmas

Okay so I am not trying to be like Hobby Lobby and start advertising Christmas before Halloween is over or anything, buuuuttt I felt this necessary. Advent is quickly approaching and it seems to sneak up on me every year. It starts the Sunday after Thanksgiving so we are still wrapped up in the fun of turkey, football, trying to save five bucks on a toaster and putting up Christmas decorations that we forget to celebrate the first Sunday of Advent.

What is Advent? Is it a time to shower our homes with all things Christmassy? Is it a time for Christmas parties and Christmas wish lists? The way I see it Advent is similar to Lent. It is a time to prepare our hearts for one of the most amazing miracles that has ever taken place in the history of the world. God's one and only son was born in a barn to a virgin who said yes. It is truly miraculous. How do we celebrate this beautiful gift? With presents, excess, presents and more excess. We forget to step back and look at what God gave us, love in its simplest form. Through a newborn baby surrounded by animals in a manger.

Now I may not make a ton of friends with this post but I feel like I should be true to who I am. I love the Christmas season as much as the next guy, but I will NOT allow my kids to believe that Christmas is all about presents, Santa and being good because the little Elf is watching. I want my kids to love and cherish Christmas for the real reason. We don't need to candy coat it with presents and elves, Christmas is a miracle and children LOVE to hear the story of baby Jesus. Have you ever seen how enamored children  become when they see baby Jesus in the manger? They love him! When my 23 year old cousin Tabitha was 4 she told my mom "Aunt Kathy I need to borrow your Mary and your Baby Jesus I will bring them back on Tuesday". She loved to carry around those little figurines.Why did she love them so? Because God put a place in her heart that was only made for Him. It wasn't made for Santa or presents it was made to yearn for Him. In her purest little form she loved Jesus for who He was.

Does this mean I don't celebrate the secular Christmas in my house? No, I would never give up the secret to my kids, but I don't encourage it much. I figure they get enough information about Santa at school and on TV. At home we focus on the true meaning of Christmas.  If my kids are going to behave well because of someone they can't see I want that someone to be God. I want them to make choices because it is the right thing to do not because the Elf might go tell Santa. Children have a difficult time discerning what is real from imaginary. I worry that when find out the truth about Santa they might believe we have been tricking them about God all along too. Wouldn't that be sad?

So what can we do to encourage them this Christmas Season? We can take full advantage of Advent as a time to prepare our hearts and homes for the coming of Jesus.  Last year we made a Jesse Tree. A Jesse Tree is a type of Advent calendar but instead of getting a candy each day the family reads a bible story together and makes an ornament for the tree. The stories begin with Adam and Eve and go through the entire bible until Jesus is born. It is a fabulous way to teach your children the stories of Salvation History. It might also be a good way to learn the stories yourself as well. :)
 Last year during Advent my two year old could tell you all about Adam and Eve and how they did not obey God, the story of Jacob and his jealous brothers, even Abraham and Isaac. The girls loved working on the Jesse Tree Ornaments each day.  You can buy Jesse Tree ornaments on Etsy and other sites that are cutesy, but I liked that it became a family craft together.   It gave us something to do together each evening. I simply printed the ornaments, one set for each child. Then we decorated them in different ways each day: coloring, painting, stickers and hung them on the tree. Here is a link to a free Jesse Tree printable, it also explains the tradition in more detail.
Jesse Tree. I pray that you and your family will enjoy growing closer to God through His beautiful word this Advent season.

Peace that Surpasses Understanding

Go ahead "be at peace" that is easy to do right? In our culture finding peace is not an easy thing.  It seems that anxiety and stress are at an all time high. I learned a thing or two about anxiety and peace in college.  My cousin Ericca and I grew up together as best friends. Neither of us had a sister so we clung to one another as sisters.  She nearly scared me to death when were 19. She was driving one night as we left my mother's apartment complex. She pulled to the exit and stopped in front of the busy street in front of us waiting to turn left. For a few moments she did not move and I remember looking at her and saying "hellllo Ericca are you going to go?" Just then she looked at me with a vacant, blank scare, a look I will never forget. Then she began to seize. She had a Grand Mal seizure behind the wheel. The car began to roll across the busy street. By the grace of God not a single car drove by during this whole episode. I was terrified I did not know what to do. Since the car was traveling the wrong way on the road by itself I threw the gear shift into park. The car made an awful sound and I thought for sure I ruined her engine. It turns out that was the best decision that I made because seconds later she hit the gas pedal with all of her body strength and the engine roared. I called 911 and the operator tried to help me take care of my cousin. We happen to be on the street in front of the hospital. I could not seem to understand why the paramedics took so long.  In those few moments I thought my cousin was dying. Thankfully, she regained consciousness before the paramedics arrived.  They took her to the hospital. I was so scarred by the event that the ER staff thought I was the injured person and tried to admit me. :) My sweet Ericca was completely fine after this and did not drive again for 6 months. I on the other hand was greatly effected.

I was terrified that either Ericca would have another seizure or that other drivers on the road would suddenly have a seizure. I developed an intense anxiety to driving. While driving I would picture horrific multiple car crashes taking place in front of me. The anxiety became debilitating, especially because my future husband lived three hours away and I had to drive to see him.  I tried going to a therapist but the anxiety pulled me away.  At this point in my life I did not know God, and never thought to ask Him for help.

Then a friend invited me to her bible church and I went. During the sermon the pastor spoke about how God has no place for worry in our lives. This was such a foreign concept to me. What do you mean God wants to take away my worry? I felt as though the entire sermon was directed to me and my situation. I began to pray in times of worry and stress and it helped. Then a few months later I walked into a different church and saw a bulletin board that read "Worry about nothing. Instead, tell Him everything. Pray!" I was blown away by this statement. I never thought about giving all of my worries to God. I now know that this was a translation of the scripture Philippians 4:6-7

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.

Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

This scripture changed my life. It taught me to give it all to God, literally He wants us to tell Him EVERYTHING!  After deepening my faith and reading the scripture from Philippians I noticed something. Not only does it tell us to pray in times of worry or trouble it says that we will receive Peace. This is not worldly peace. Like "Peace and Love" peace or gangsta wrapper "Peace". This is the Peace of Christ. The peace that "surpasses all understanding". It is peace that we as humans can not fathom, because it is of God. St. Augustine said "If you can understand it, then it must not be of God".  Most Americans have not experience this internal Peace that flows from the Holy Spirit. When a person grows in relationship with Christ they receive the Fruits of the Spirit through the Holy Spirit these are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Wouldn't we love to have someone describe us using these adjectives? They are not as hard to obtain as you might think, but it is not something that we can do on our own. Only through giving your heart to Christ and letting go of what we hold onto as women will we receive these beautiful fruits of the spirit. Here is the great part, YOU don't have to do anything. All you have to do is TRUST in God. My three year old told me today in the car "Mommy did you know you can trust God?". Yes in my heart I do but sometimes my head takes over and I forget to trust in Him. 

Did you know that there are 365 verses in the bible that mention worry? One for each day of the year. God has no place for worry in our lives. Instead, He yearns for our trust. He wants us to lean on Him in good times and struggles. After all, these struggles are what strengthen our relationship with Him. So open up your heart and let "the peace that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus".

Thank Goodness for Theology of the Body

One of the biggest challenges for me as a mom is trying to protect my kids from a sex crazed culture.  It terrifies to me to think of my girls becoming teenagers. Aaah I don't want to think about that right now. I love teenagers. Teen ministry is my absolute favorite, but I am not ready to be the mom of two teenage girls. We live in a culture that basically says anything goes. It is okay to have sex anytime with anyone, to live together before marriage and a whole slew of other behaviors that break apart our relationships with God and set us up for rocky marriages.  I often hear people talk about the marriage crisis in America and how can we fix it? My answer is we have to start teaching the next generation BEFORE they make these mistakes. It is too late to talk to a couple about the dangers of living together once they are living together. This is why I love teen ministry so much.


I honestly believe the cause for the breakdown of so many marriages is pre-marital or extra-marital sex.  We have lost the true meaning of a Christian relationship. In fact most of us have never heard God's vision for marriage explained.  I was not exposed to this until long after I was married.  Can you imagine starting your marriage with this in mind? How different would our lives be? The Catholic church has an AMAZING program called Theology of the Body. It was originally written by Pope John Paul the II in a series of encyclicals and then translated by Christopher West.  TOB explains the true plan for marriage that God intended. It teaches women and men to treat each other with love and respect and to treat sex as a gift for marriage. It empowers young girls to look for the man that God has intended for them, not simply someone who will give them attention. It also shows them that they are wonderfully and beautifully made regardless of what our culture tells them. It is truly empowering to both sexes and creates stronger marriages.  There are also TOB programs for teenagers and I recently heard about a program for middle schoolers starting in 5th grade. Yes this sounds incredibly young, but let's face it our kids are exposed to sex whether we like it or not. At least this way they are hearing the truth about God's plan for our sexuality from the get go, instead of trying to unlearn what society has instilled in them. The program is called "Purely You: Growing God's Way". It also includes a parent Q & A section that gives pointers on how to explain these concepts to your kids when they start asking questions.

I pray that I can teach my daughters to understand who they are as Christian women and how to uphold their values.  I highly recommend taking a TOB course or reading Christopher West's book. The courses are offered several times a year in our area and if you don't live in Austin I am sure you can find one near you.

See it Pray it!

Praying out loud  always seems to be hard for kiddos. Heck praying out loud for adults is hard too! In our house it usually ends up that I do a lot of the praying, which is good because I am modeling for them how to pray. My goal though is not to only model but also for them to take ownership in their own little prayer lives. I want them to know that prayer is the answer to all of life's problems. It is also the cause of all of life's joys.  I want them to know that they can talk to God about anything at anytime. So where do we begin? Right now my three year old has started praying her own little independent prayers. It is usually some variation of "Thank you God, I love you God Amen!" It is her own and it is original which I love but now I think she is ready to put some real substance into her prayer. When it is time to sit down and pray together I think they forget what they wanted to pray about. I heard an interview with a member from the band Philips, Craig and Dean and he was talking about how he uses pictures to keep him focused in prayer. It got me thinking about children and how they are extremely concrete thinkers! From that was born the See it Pray it board!

To make the board the girls and I sat down together and discussed the reasons why we pray

• To thank God for our blessings
•  To tell Him how much we love Him
• To pray for others in need
• And most importantly to ask God to help us transform our hearts for Him. This last one I believe is so important because it reminds us that we don't have to take on the troubles of the world on our own. If we have a problem take it to the "Divine Physician". He wants to help us overcome life's struggles. 

Then we came up with several things that we should pray for together each night. We are tremendously blessed right now with a new born baby. I also have 5 amazing friends who also have newborn babies. Livi wanted to draw a picture of each baby and write all 5 of their adorable little names on the board. Instead she just drew one picture and I wrote the word "Babies". :) We also included pictures of each member of our little family to remember to be thankful for each other.

Then we added names of people that need prayers right now. I have two sweet friends who are currently in Hospice care. One is a little girl and the other an amazing Mom. We put both of their names on the board. I don't intend to explain to my girls in detail why we are praying for them, but I will explain their love for God and how they really need God right now.We are also expecting a new baby cousin and are so thrilled so they want to pray for their Aunt Lindsey or Zee Zee as they call her.

After that we talked about the things in our lives that we need God's help with.  Since the baby was born the behavior in our house has been more challenging. I think this is just a new baby phase and it will end soon. Hopefully! :) My four year old said that we need to work on "showing each other love more". So she made a heart and wrote the word "Love" inside.  We also decided that we need to work on being better "Listeners" so we wrote that in stickers as well. Praying for these challenges each night will do several things for our family. First, it will allow us to give our problems over to God and let Him heal us. Next, it will open up the lines of communication each night for us to discuss why we are struggling in a positive and loving manner. The best time to teach kids about behavior is not in the heat of the moment. Rather it is in a time where they feel connected and loved. I feel a whole slew of "teachable moments" coming on!

The best part about the See it Pray it board is that I used a magnet board so we can change it anytime as needs arise. I am also going to encourage them each night to think of new people or problems to pray for. Don't forget though... We can pray anytime throughout the day. Teach kids to stop right then in the moment and pray for a struggle. Teach them to pray for a loved one who asks for prayers right there with them. Also teach them to notice when God answers their prayers. Point out how the situation has changed as a result of their prayer and remind them that it is because of God's love. Have fun encouraging your children to know and love God!

Stand up for what you believe in!

For the first time today I was able to "Stand and Pray" for 40 Days for Life. This is a program that started with the Catholic Church in College Station, Texas and has now spread across the world. It is peaceful prayer support outside of abortion clinics.  As a result of this program countless lives have been changed, whether it is mothers who do not have to live with the grief of having lost a child, abortion clinic workers who have turned away or the beautiful lives of the little babies saved.  One person in particular who was saved by the fervent prayers of 40 Day for Lifers was Abby Johnson. She was the Director and "Employee of the Year" of Planned Parenthood. She honestly believed that she was helping women by providing them a safe place to receive abortions. Then one day God changed her heart forever. It became extremely clear to her how brutal abortion really is. She was lost and did not know where to turn and walked right into the arms of the sidewalk counselors outside of her clinic. She is now one of the most prominent pro-life speakers. She travels the country speaking out against Planned Parenthood and their money driven tactics. Abby has written a book with her entire conversion story called "Unplanned". She is currently writing her second book that details what goes on behind the closed doors of Planned Parenthood. Check out her website here. She also goes to my church, which I think is pretty cool! I feel like I have a new famous friend. :)

I was quite honestly very scared to go today. I was not sure what would happen. I was not even sure if it would be safe to stand outside the clinic. My mother-in-law went with me. She was so calm and it really seems that God was calling her to this ministry. She was a natural! It made me feel much more at ease to see her so calm and willing to help. I watched and prayed as eight women walked in with their boyfriends and did not return. It broke my heart. I also witnessed the Christian Love that flowed from the trained sidewalk counselor to each and every woman. She would speak to them with such dignity and respect. I cannot say that this was a fun ministry or that I loved it, but I can say it feels good to have helped and I will definitely go back and help again! Please consider volunteering for 40 Days in your area. If you want more information click here. If you are not able to come out and pray remember that you can pray anytime anywhere!

Spending some time with Jesus!

A couple of years ago when I first was renewed in my faith I wanted to be as close to God as possible. At the time I was not Catholic but attending the Catholic church.  I knew that having a personal relationship with Jesus was so important to growing in my faith, but those Catholic people kept talking about the Sacraments. They talked all of the time about the Eucharist or communion and how integral it is to our faith. I kept thinking you are missing it people!! The most important thing is having a personal relationship with Christ. Then I realized something....  I was on fire in my faith for about a year, then I became the leader of a CRHP group, which is an incredibly spiritual women's retreat.  After becoming the director of this group my faith took off and grew like I could have never imagined.  I always attributed it to being part of this group. But I noticed something, the exact time, almost to the day, that I became the director I also became Catholic and took the Eucharist for the first time! Even though I did not truly understand that this was the body and blood of my Lord He was converting my life through it.  What better way to create a lasting and meaningful relationship with Christ then to be present with Him in the Eucharist! It all made so much sense. The Catholics weren't missing the point! They knew all along that Jesus is the answer to everything and that is why they give Him such reverence in the Eucharist!!

 The following year I started working with the teens and I was introduced to Adoration for the first time with beautiful praise and worship music. Adoration is when Jesus is fully present body, blood, soul and divinity through the Eucharist. I fell in love with spending time with Jesus in Adoration.  I remember one of my first experiences I knew Adoration was coming and I got so excited to see Jesus. I was kneeling on a hard gym floor and singing. As I sang my hands began to raise palms up just about at my waist level. Then I felt someone holding my hands and I knew it was Jesus there spending time with me. After that I was hooked!! I can say that Adoration is one of my absolute favorite things to do! At each retreat I can't wait for that moment. To me it feels like that moment when you go to the airport to pick up a dear friend or family member. You wait at the baggage claim and watch every person who walks in thinking "Are they here yet?" Then the person you love walks in and you run to great them. That is how I feel kneeling when the priest walks in with the monstrance. I just can't wait to see my sweet friend. Then I usually begin balling uncontrollably! :) The teens always laugh at me. It looks like I have some serious issue going on. Nope, I just love Him so much that it brings me to tears EVERY time!Sometimes I even feel a bit of jealousy of the priest. He gets to hold my Lord and carry Him in for everyone to share.

I could write for hours about amazing Adoration experiences. I have seen hearts converted, teens fall to their knees in tears, others go unconscious, and I have felt how amazing He is during every experience of Adoration. Most recently I took a group of teens to DCYC which is a huge Catholic youth conference in Waco. I would venture to say that it is one of the most spiritual places on Earth. The Holy Spirit is so ALIVE during this weekend.  Adoration on Saturday night is always the pinnacle of the weekend. The teens kneel and pray with so much love during this time.  We had a friend of a teen come with us who was not Catholic. We did not explain to her what was happening. She had such a moving experience that it scared her. She asked if she could go back to the hotel for the night and we agreed. The next morning she told me last night was amazing. She said I didn't know what was going on. I was praying then suddenly I felt myself drawn out of my body towards that Gold Thing (The Gold Thing was our Lord in the beautiful Monstrance, but she didn't know that). She said she saw herself on a shore and Jesus was drawing her near to Him.Then she asked me are they going to bring that Gold Thing out again today? I had to giggle if only she knew Who was in that Gold Thing. :)  I explained to her that she was in the presence of Christ last night and explained what Adoration is. After that she went home and told her parents that she wanted to become Catholic. I was amazed how God could work in her life when she didn't even understand what was happening at the time. Adoration is absolutely amazing! There are countless documented and undocumented miracles that have occurred in the presence of Christ during Adoration. If you are having any troubles or need prayer go to Him in Adoration and you will feel such a connection to Him.

Also talk to your kids about the Eucharist and explain to them what is happening each week at Mass. I tell my kids "Here comes the best part" (I got that from my sweet friend April). We go to a church that still uses the bells during Mass, which I love. The bells are meant to signify that Christ is present now in the Eucharist. In my church after the bells ring it is not uncommon to hear my three year old YELL "Mommy Jesus is here!!!" While I love her enthusiasm I would rather it weren't so loud!

Take your kids to see Jesus in the Eucharist as well. All churches have a Tabernacle that you can visit anytime. Sometimes when we go to church during the week I will take my kids through the back of the church to see Jesus. They kneel and talk to him for a few minutes. Then we light a candle. They just love it!! It is such a great teachable moment. I get a chance to explain to them why we genuflect and kneel, because we love Him so much! We need to show Him that we have reverence and love for Him. I pray that my kids have a similar experience of love and connection with our Lord. If you are looking for a better connection with Him go spend some time with Jesus in the Eucharist! You won't regret it!

Come on People Freak Out!

Last year I had the privilege of hearing Chris Stefanik speak at God Stock a youth event in Austin. He was fabulous, the perfect mix of hilarity and spirituality.  The topic of his talk was "Un-freaked-outed-ness" I hope you can read that long made up word. He talked about the vast technology in our world and how we get so used to it that it doesn't freak us out anymore. Take your microwave for instance, there are little invisible micro waves bouncing around in there and COOKING your food in a matter of seconds. This is crazy "Back to The Future" type technology. Instead of standing there oohing and ahhing every time our microwave makes us something yummy. We stand their watching the clock and moaning because it won't cook fast enough. Really? 30 seconds isn't fast enough. This is un-freaked-outed-ness. We experience un-freaked-outed-ness with all sorts of technology in our lives.

 I was incredibly blessed last week. I gave birth to the first little Copeland grandson! In my family this is a huge deal. My husband and father in law have been waiting for a little guy to take hunting, fishing and teach to work with his hands. Now this was my third child so you would think that this would all be pretty natural to me. It was easier to care for the little guy and we understood the way the hospital worked, but there was NO unfreaked-outed-ness! I can't seem to put into words that feeling during labor when I first heard the cry of the sweet little child that I had been carrying around for 9 months. Or the look on my husband's face when he saw his first born son and all of his dreams as a parent came true. Then the doctor throws that messy little baby on my stomach and the tears just start pouring. Suddenly I am holding a little  messy miracle. Then he turns to look at me because he hears my voice. I am constantly amazed by child birth and how God has  beautifully orchistrated every aspect of a newborn baby. I was full of freaked-outed-ness!!

Then we changed his little diaper and oh my boys are hard to change!!! Along came a lot more freaked-outed-ness!!! There truly is something different about little boys and I am madly in love with this little guy already. I never want to lose my freaked-outed-ness!

In our faith and relationships we often experience unfreaked-outed-ness. We go through the motions at church or in prayer. We forget the amazing miracles that are taking place all around us especially during Mass. Yes, a microwave and iPhone are pretty amazing, but how much more amazing is Christ truly present with us in Mass? When I get caught up in trying to keep the kiddos quiet during Mass and forget to show Awe and Reverence I pray for freaked-outed-ness. God please show me the miracles of your love and true presence.

We also experience this is in our family relationships. We forget how truly amazing our children and husbands are. Our children are little sponges learning and changing each day.  If our husbands weren't so amazing then we never would have married them right? God has given us such beautiful families I pray that we can all be amazed by the little moments with them each day. So.... Let's get freaked out people!!!!

Eli's Name

So I wanted to tell you my name story for the little guy. It is a pretty cool story and I think he will love hearing it one day. Three years ago when I was pregnant with Livi  I was driving in my car and I heard this loud God voice say "You will have a son and his name will be Eli" then it repeated again. I was like whoa I never heard a loud God voice before. :) I was determined that we were having a boy named Eli, except that at the time I really didn't want a boy I would have much rather had a girl.  But I was certain because God had told me that it would be a boy. I didn't even think I needed to have an ultrasound to find out. I remember standing at Ella's 1st birthday talking to my friend Melissa and she said "what if it means that you will have a boy SOMEDAY and his name will be Eli?" I hadn't thought about that possibility yet but I thought maybe Melissa was right. Sure enough two days later I found out that I was having a girl.  

The following Sunday I went to church and I was a bit confused about my faith and listening to God. The bible reading at church was a story I had never heard before about Samuel the prophet and Eli. Eli was a high priest, I had no idea Eli was in the bible. I just thought there was Elijah.  So anyways Eli is sleeping and Samuel wakes up and says "Lord did you call me?" Eli says "no go back to sleep I didn't call you" and it happens again and again finally "Eli says next time you hear your name say yes God I am listening because He is calling you". I took this to mean "thank you for being willing to follow me and for listening but I am not calling you yet". So I figured we may have a boy some day.

Fast forward to now being pregnant I had kind of pushed the Eli story out of my head and was picking different boy names. First we picked Luke and Chad's good friend Todd is having a baby named Luke. Then we picked Gabriel, which I LOVED, but found out shortly after that Chad's boss and Confirmation Sponsor is having a baby named Gabriel.  That Sunday I came home and suddenly out of the blue Livi, my two year old,  starts acting out the story of Samuel, Eli and God. It was random! She told me "I'll be Samuel, you be Eli and you be God". I didn't even know she knew that story. I had this overwhelming feeling that God was telling me that he didn't want me to pick Luke or Gabriel but that my child would be Eli. The same night I also got a message from a friend saying that she thought of me today at mass because of the scripture reading. So I went online and looked up what she read and sure enough it was the Eli and Samuel story. I was like whooaa again! I just loved how God used the same child that I thought would be Eli to share with me His plan.

I know it might sound crazy to think that God picked my son's name, but I have a very discerning heart and it feels so good to know that I am following Him and letting Him make choices for me. Anyways I just thought it was pretty cool and thought you guys might want to hear the whole story. 

So his name will be Eli James Copeland. James is after my grandfather who died when I was a baby and Chad's dad's brother who died as a child of heart failure.

Let it Be Done Unto Me

As I have said before I am very pregnant and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new little man Eli.  I don't do very well with the waiting part.  For some reason my body does not go into labor on its own so I have a lot of experience in this department.  I have six great friends from High School and College who were all pregnant with me and due this summer. They have ALL had their babies now except for me. :) So I am next right?

When I am this pregnant and am feeling all of the pregnancy symptoms, fears, anxieties, etc. I always think about Mary.  I think about the fear and anguish she must have gone through. Here she was just a sweet little 14 year old girl working for her parents. Then, she was visited by an angel and told that she would not only become pregnant without being married, but her son would be the King, the Messiah, the man her family had been waiting on for generations. Mary was a good little Jewish girl and she knew exactly what the scriptures foretold about the Messiah. Can you imagine the weight she must have felt?  She could have said no. She could have run away from God's plan for her life, but she didn't. She said "Lord Let it be done unto my according to thy will." She openly said "yes" to God knowing that it would make her life difficult and challenging. I guess she knew that being the mother of the son of God would be well worth the pain and fear.

The part of this story that really comes to mind right now is the actual birth of Jesus. I am REAL pregnant. As my husband said yesterday "You remind me of the B 52s." I thought "this outfit doesn't look like anything they would wear" then he started singing "I got me a Chrysler it's a big as a whale!" Thanks friend love you too! So I am as big as a whale. When Mary was this pregnant she and Joseph made the long trek back to Bethlehem for the census on the BACK OF A DONKEY! Can you imagine? Your husbands says, "yeah I know you are real pregnant but I need you to ride on a donkey for a few days". Ummm no thanks! But again she willingly said "yes" and followed her husband. I think about all of the fear of the unknown you have right before giving birth. "Will I be a good Mom?", "Do I have every tiny little baby contraption to make this baby happy?" "Will the baby ever sleep again?", etc. Her fears would have been different though. "Will my baby be safe in this world?" after all he was nearly murdered right after being born by King Herrod. "Will I know how to care for the Son of God?", "Will my friends and family accept this pregnancy?", "How will my little man change the world?" I figure these thoughts must have been swirling in her head as she rode along on that donkey.

Then she goes into labor, not in a hospital, not even in a barn like we are used to seeing. She most likely gave birth to Jesus in the side of a cave. In Bethlehem caves were used as stables for animals. She was surrounded by animals and animal feces. It wasn't sterile, she didn't have her parents waiting in the next room to hug their new grand-baby, she didn't even have a doctor. All she had was her faithful husband and her in faith in God.

I believe we have so much to learn from Mary in this story. She led her life with Grace and love for God. Every decision she made was not for her own glory but for the glory of God. She loved Him and would follow Him wherever he leads. I pray that I can do the same. I pray that I can say "yes" to God with no limitations just as Mary did.

This is my first experience with a little boy. I just keep thinking what if I knew he was destined to change the world. How would I parent differently?  I actually had an extremely spiritual and sweet family friend tell my mother-in-law that her grandson would be a priest one day. Father Eli sounds pretty good doesn't it? That would be the ultimate dream of my life to know that I raised a man of God. Even if Eli is not called to be a priest I still want to look back and say that I raised a man of God. I can't wait to meet you tomorrow little Eli!

Forgiveness

As a teacher I was always trying to teach my students ethical and moral practices that they may not receive anywhere else. It was so amazing to me to see six and seven year olds treat each other with more love, kindness and empathy than most adults I know. It all stemmed from the Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards system that we used. I blogged about the parenting version of this if you want to read more about it click HERE. There were many values that I taught  my kids empathy, patience, understanding, optimism, flexibility, etc. A value that I think all kids (and adults too) should learn is forgiveness.

I started thinking about this blog after listening to Tenth Avenue North's song "Losing". The lyrics explain a hurtful situation and needing God's help in forgiveness. Click on the right to listen to the song. 

Yeah we don't like to talk about forgiveness. Forgiving others who have wronged us is hhhaarrrrddd.  Let's face it most of us have been hurt pretty seriously at some point in our lives.  If you have ever heard my whole conversion story then you know I had to do a lot of forgiving myself. We are taught in this culture that if you are a forgiving person then you are a push over. We have to defend ourselves and stand up for what we believe in or people will walk all over us. So we end up being a culture of people who cannot trust one another. We need to teach children that people make mistakes and before we get angry to put ourselves in their shoes. Many kids do not know how to look at someone else's perspective on a matter. They believe that the wrong doing was intentional and hurtful, when in fact it was usually accidental. As adults we do the same thing, especially to those we love the most.

Granted there are times when people are intentionally hurtful and mean. What do we do in this situation? We are still called to forgive.  When asked how many times to forgive someone  Jesus said seven times seventy-seven times wholy moly that is 539 times!!! Can you imagine forgiving someone that many times and remaining friends with them? Jesus did! He has forgiven us as many times in our own lives and he keeps hanging around every time we make another mistake. He doesn't just pack up and walk away each time we screw up. Now I don't think it is a good idea to put up with that kind of abuse from someone, but it does show how important forgiveness is to Jesus.

In the Lord's Prayer or "Our Father" we say "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us" What does that mean? It means God forgive me just as I forgive others. Sooooo what happens if we don't forgive others? Yikes!! Does this mean that God gives up on us and won't forgive us? No. It means that it makes it hard for us to accept the Grace and forgiveness from God. When we are holding onto pain and anger we can't fully accept God's Grace.  We cause ourselves added pain and anguish. So what is the best way to start forgiving someone who has wronged you? It is not something you can do on your own. The only way to truly forgive someone is through the Grace of God. So go to confession. Yep I am back on the confession bandwagon. :) For me reconciliation is always the answer for any problem in our lives. Give it to God through confession and  you will be freed from that pain and anguish.This doesn't mean you have to agree with what they did or go through that again. It just means that you have to let go of the anger and pain. Another way to change your heart is to pray for the person who has hurt you. This is a great skill to teach kids. If someone is bothering you pray for them. It helps us to see them as people who make mistakes and need God's Grace just like we do.


We were not taught these kind of things as kids so many of us have dealt with pain for a long time. That is why it is our job to teach our kids how to forgive before someone hurts them.  If you practice with the little things then it makes the larger things easier to handle.  In a classroom or family situation most things that happen are little and insignificant. We need to teach kids to forgive others and also to ask for forgiveness when they have wronged others. Asking for forgiveness is equally as difficult as giving others forgiveness.

Why do Catholics have to go to confession?

The answer is we don't have to we GET to!
 We actually call the Sacrament of Reconciliation a celebration. We get to rejoin ourselves with Christ and His love and Grace every time our sins are washed away. So what comes to mind when you think of confession? A dark, scary, wooden confessional with a condemning priest on the other side of a screen that slams closed on the person confessing? That is what we see in the movies. This could not be further from the truth. What do we actually see when we walk into confession?  Two chairs and a smiling priest who is so glad that you chose to come and be reunited with Christ today.  Most of the time we do not go behind a screen in fact I never have before. If I did, then I would miss out on the beautiful look of love and compassion in the priests eyes as I share my most difficult stumbles in life. We still have that option available for people who prefer to remain anonymous but I constantly urge people to go face to face. I have seen confession take place in an empty room, near a river and even in a teepee once at a teen retreat. :) It can take place anywhere as long as the priest is open and willing to hear your confession.

So why confess?  We all know that Jesus is loving and forgiving. There is no sin that He will not forgive, if we come to Him with an honest heart and ask for forgiveness. But how often do you forgive yourself? Is there something from your past that resurfaces periodically and leaves a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach? We have a much more difficult time forgiving ourselves then Christ does. He WANTS to forgive us. He wants that pain and guilt to vanish forever. I know before going to reconciliation for the first time I would ask for forgiveness to God in prayer over and over for the same sin, but I could never forgive myself.

During the Sacrament of Reconciliation Christ washes away all of our sin and pain. This leaves our heart open to receive the Grace and Love of God.  Sin is very binding and clouds our relationship with God. It is nearly impossible to hear His soft voice and follow Him when wrapped in sin. For this reason nearly every retreat I have ever been to begins with reconciliation. Afterwards we are wide open to recieve God's grace for the rest of the retreat.

This is one of my favorite parts of each retreat. I love to share my views on reconciliation with teens, adults and children.  The teens are always so scared their first time. Many of them have not gone to reconciliation since they were in second grade. They walk in apprehensive and nervous. They come out so full of life that they are practically floating with joy and grace. It is obvious the trasnformation that takes place in the confessional.  At our Confirmation retreat last weekend I witnessed a 15 year-old boy walk out of the confessional and yell "That was amazing! God MUST be real!" After that first real experience many teens become reconciliatoin advocates. They actually begin to look forward to confession. When the time comes they run to the front of the line to be first.  It just makes my day!

We need to teach our teens and young children about this celebration! We need to show them that it is not scary or condemning in anyway. It is quite the opposite!! I had so much fun teaching second grade this year because I had three little sweet Catholic girls in my class. They had their first reconciliation and Eucharist this year. I was able to share my faith with them in the corner of the playground. It was our own little top secret bible study. :) They were all so scared by the thought of confession. I explained to them how wonderful it is. Then they could not wait for it to be their first reconciliation day! They all came back so happy and wanted to go again.

St. Faustina was a Catholic Nun who was visited by Christ over a three year period. Her mission was to share with the world God's unending Mercy and Love. Her diary chronicles these visits, and oh my, is it spiritual! In one of her visits Christ speaks to her about reconciliation. These are His words:

"When you go to confession, know this, that I myself am waiting for you in the confessional; I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of Mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great there is no limit to my generosity"

I love the idea of Christ waiting for us, but we just can't see Him. I picture Him with a beautiful smile on His face and full of love and kindness as we reunite ourselves to Him.

So what is our goal as parents? Go to confession often the more you go the better you will feel! Matthew Kelly in his book "Rediscover Catholicisim" relates confession to a car wash analogy. Think about when you first have your car washed and detailed. It smells so pretty and everything is clean. Your car may have looked like a homelss person was living out of it last week but not anymore! Now it is perfect and clean.  So then your son leaves his shoes in the back. You say "nope we are keeping this car clean take them in the house".  Next your daughter leaves a doll in the car and you instruct her too to keep your beautiful car clean. You are not letting this car look like a homeless person lived here again! After that you accidentally leave a Target bag in the back, then a Sonic cup, then your kids each leave an item or two. By next week you have forgotten that you were trying to keep the car clean at all. Before long it is full of strange items again.

The same is true with reconciliation when we first walk out of the confessional we are squeaky clean and ready to take on the world! I am not letting sin get in my life, no sir! Then I might say something I don't mean, have a negative thought here or there. Then before you know it sin has crept back into our lives.  That is why we must go often especially if you are struggling with something. If I have a problem the first thing I do is take it to God in reconciliation. That is the way to tackle those big problems.

We also need to be open about confession with our kids. That doesn't mean you have to tell them WHAT you confessed just let them know that you go often because you choose to. Let them see how it effects your faith. Encourage them with love to go often as well.  Please don't force them, that will only create resentment. 

This is my view of reconciliation coming from a previous Protestant prospective. I hope it helps you to reconcile with God soon and often! Happy Confessing!!!

Keeping Faith Fun!

My last post was how to keep our own faith live rocking as parents.  After all you can't give what you don't have and our kiddos need us to share our faith with them. Today let's talk about how to keep kids active in their faith as well. What are some ways we can encourage them to have fun learning and living their faith?

This is definetely not the complete list but over the next couple of days I will share a few things that I do in my house:

The first is TV: Yes TV has become portrayed as the evil monster that will consume our children. Is this true? I think it can be, depending on what their little eyes are watching. They not only listen to what they hear but begin to include it in their daily vocabulary and interactions with others.
When we moved into our house 4 years ago an amazing thing happened. I used to be the biggest DVR junky ever! Especially after having my first child and being a stay at home mom. I was DVRing 20-30 shows per week and watching them. When we moved their was a big cable TV controversy in our town and the cable company said it would take them nearly 6 weeks to connect our cable. For a moment I thought I might die! What do you mean I have to live without cable for 6 whole weeks? I am pregnant how will I survive? It turns out I DID survive and we realized that we didn't really need cable anymore. So we called the cable company and canceled. It felt a bit liberating. I was no longer slave to "Grey's Anatomy" and all of the other shows that I felt compelled to watch weekly. It gave me a lot more time to read, pray and spend time with my kids. I feel this decision has changed my family! The only thing I miss these days is a bit of College football but we all make sacrifices right?

In our house the only children's programming that we have is PBS, which is full of good quality education. I am pretty sure Ella is reading at four years old because of  "Word World" and "Super Why"  and not from my fancy teaching skills. :) They have also learned so much about science, animals and nature thanks to "Sid the Science Kid".
The best thing is our house is not filled with garbage all of the time! I don't have to worry about the characters treating their parents with attitude or fawning over some rock star. All of the characters have good moral values. We are not able to watch children's programming 24 hours per day and there are NO toy commercials!! Did you know young children are the number one advertising marketing group in America? Sell it to the kids and the parents HAVE to buy it. My kids have no idea what cool toys are these days and I like it that way!!

Ella did ask me a question recently. "She said I know PBS has good shows for kids but how come they never tell anybody about God or Jesus?" I didn't really have an answer for this question. It is hard to explain to a four-year-old that not everyone believes in God and that some people are actually offended by him. So that brings me to our other show that is full of good Christian education and values.
The other show that my kids watch a lot of is "Veggie Tales"! If you haven't seen it you are really missing out!!!!!  The characters are all witty, talking vegetables, that teach bible stories and other moral issues. They cover a lot of the old testament stories. I have to admit that when I first starting learning about the bible I learned it all from Veggie Tales. I would read the stories and picture Larry the Cucumber hopping around in my mind. They sing songs and tell the stories in ways that the kids can understand. There is also just the right amount of adult intelligent humor that is NEVER inappropriate like other children's shows. Kids love it! Parents love it! We are all learning and becoming better Christians. What is not to love? So you are probably wondering, "What channel does Veggie Tales come on?" The sad answer is it doesn't. NBC was airing it on Saturday morning cartoons for a short period but it was canceled. I buy them from Family Christian for $5 or check them out for free at the library.

I'm Not Who I Was!

Often times I sit in church with this overwhelming sense of love and Grace and think "How did I get here? Why on earth did God choose me?" The truth is I have not always had a life of faith. In fact if you are a Facebook friend from high school reading my blog you are probably wondering "What happened to this girl? This is not the girl I went to high school with." So I figured I should tell you how I got here and why my faith is so important to me. I will try and give you the abridged version without all the gory details. :) When I share this with teenagers I give them everything. I figure they need to know that others have had similar difficulties in life and still make it through.

I was not really raised with a strong faith. My family attended the Methodist church but I did not really know God or my faith.  In high school my family fell apart and I did my best to keep my head above water. I made a lot of bad choices but survived. In college I guess I was your typical college student but did not know how to truly live life to it's fullest.  I made a lot more mistakes along the way, but met my sweet Chad there.  Chad was Catholic so we went to Catholic church together. I never in a million years thought I would become Catholic. We had been married a few years and I was very focused on clothing, partying, and trying to still live the college life style.  Then my sweet friend Brooke started going to a church and fell in love with God. I noticed such a sharp change in her. She seemed so happy and I wanted what she had. I had no idea how to find faith like that and I was almost certain that the Catholic church was NOT where I would find it. I told Chad that I wanted to go to church more and tried to veer off into a bible church. This scared him a lot. I went to church with Brooke the opening weekend of her then fiance's new church Life in Deep Ellum. The holy spirit was so alive in that place it blew me away. I watched Brooke and Tanner who weren't even married yet praying over another young couple who needed their prayers. I had never prayed out loud in my life, much less prayed over someone before. It lit a fire in me that day. I knew I was going to find my faith one way or another even if that meant leaving the church and going by myself. I started asking Chad all sorts of questions about that hte Catholic church, most of them were pointed and painful. He didn't know the answers to my questions because he did not know much about his faith either. He started to learn more and realized just how beautiful the traditions and sacraments of the church are.

As a last ditch effort Chad signed up for a men's retreat at St. Thomas More called CRHP Christ Renews His Parish. He asked me to attend as well during the women's retreat. I really did not want to go but thought I would try it for Chad. The weekend that Chad was gone  I was bitter and angry that he was gone all weekend. When he walked in the door I saw a change in him that I have never seen before. He could not tell me what happened during that weekend but it was clear that he was a new man. I went to CRHP two weeks later. It was the best thing that ever happend to me! I put it right up there with having my children and marrying Chad. If it weren't for this retreat where would I be now? It showed me the beauty and love of the God through the Catholic Church and jump started my faith journey. I left that weekend deteremined to have a relationship with God. I had NO IDEA how to do that. I would listen to the Jars of Clay song "Love Song for a Savior" and the verse that repeats "I want to fall in love with You". It became my mantra. I wanted to fall in love with Jesus but didn't know how. I realized that I didn't NEED to know how I just needed to be open to Him. He did all the rest. My life changed so quickly! I had a new born baby and was suddenly part of a Christian community for the first time in my life. We basically LIVED at the church for a while. I started the RCIA program and became Catholic that year at the Easter Vigil. My faith continued to explode and grow in ways that I would have never thought possible. I am still constantly amazed by how beautiful this church is and how much God loves me. Why me? What did I do to deserve His love? The answer is nothing! There is nothing I could do to earn His love. He is just as happy to love me as I am to love Him. Sometimes I feel like the ultimate prodigal son with God smiling ear to ear. I am so thankful for the last five years of my life!


So from here on out I am different! I am not who I was.